fear

I'm writing this to get this fear off my chest because I am immobilised by this fear. I can't do my work with this thing haunting me.

Now. This happened about a year ago. Not too long but not too recent, just enough to scare me. But i think it will forever scare me. I get it. Failure sucks. Failing your final exam sucks. Not being able to go to university sucks. Seeing all your close friends in university while you're still trying to go to uni SUCKS. this feeling of failure FUCKING SUCKS. I AM MAD AT MYSELF. i know it wasn't my fault but fuck, I AM ANGRY AND DEVASTATED. MORE SO THAN WORDS CAN EVER DESCRIBE. I've been holding this in for so long. I've accepted it but IT HAUNTS ME. It doesn't want to go away. IT'S ALWAYS THERE. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I JUST WANT IT TO GO AWAY. I WANT IT TO STOP HAUNTING ME. I CANT DO THIS FUCKING HELL  FUCK

WHY ME