exhausted

everything is getting a bit overwhelming. I'm so tired. physically and mentally. but no matter how much I sleep, I don't seem to be less tired. I'm still haunted by dreams about whatever's happened. sigh, I wish that it would just go away. let me have a decent sleep already. good lord I'm exhausted.

don't even know why but I miss having him in my life. maybe I just miss making him happy with my silly idiotic jokes. told myself so many times 'if it's meant to be, it's meant to be'. why can't good things ever happen to me? we were good enough for each other. we could've had something really great. I keep telling myself someday when I'm traveling, you'll be the pilot and we'll see each other at the airport. we'll get a cup of coffee and bond again. maybe things will develop from there. making amends or whatever. but I've also told myself, life's not a movie so stop dreaming and move on because you're obviously okay without me. why do you do this to me?

sigh.