tonight i have so many things to say to you. i dont know why i am so sentimental tonight, but i am. i do want to sleep, so i'll just write whatever i have in my mind out. if it doesn't make sense, i am sorry, but that's how my mind works, i guess.
im not sure if you actually think much of my words, but sometimes, i wish you do. compared to before, you've been much more affectionate and vocal with your feelings towards me and that's good. i think it's these sort of reassurance that assures me that i am loved. i have the bad habit of questioning the feelings you have for me and i know it annoys you. but i am sorry, i don't ever mean to annoy you like that, but i just can't help it. but i am trying to change that because i know your feelings for me are as strong as my feelings for you. i hope you know that.
i've been easily irritable lately because i've been physically worn out. when im worn out, my tolerance for life is little to none, that's why i get frustrated at everything. so when i get quiet and i've been telling you that i'm tired, it's just because my low energy means little tolerance to things. so don't think that you've done something wrong. when you do, i will tell you, but it will take me a while. i need to calm down before telling you, if not it's volcano eruption and i might say very hurtful things to you and i dont want to hurt you.
i love you so much i dont ever want to hurt you. if i ever did, i am sorry. loving me is tough, but you're doing great. i can never be happier when im with you. thank you for bringing me so much joy. i hope i do the same to you too.
yours,
hazel
29.8.16
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